In Which I Fight the Forces of Evil and Other Stuff, Ya Know?

This week the fall semester starts at the college where I teach. Once again I begin another four months where I have the opportunity to shape minds and lives. Generally my fervor and zeal about teaching reach a fevered pitch around this time in the semester that can best be described in one word:

“Meh.”

But this semester something has changed.  I have an enthusiasm for teaching I haven’t felt in a long while. Part of it is because I applied for a new job over the summer, one I thought I wanted.  But when I realized all the concessions I would have to make – compared to my current job, especially in terms of the number of hours I would have to work each week – I decided to stay where I was.  The process of applying and interviewing for a new job showed me I have a lot for which to be grateful where my job is concerned.

But moreover, one of my colleagues sent me this – a poem by Taylor Mali entitled “Totally Like Whatever, You Know?” It’s brilliant, funny, and borderline life-changing for me.

Ours is an “aggressively inarticulate generation” – unwilling or unable to speak with conviction about much of anything.  I realize I have the opportunity to make a difference. To fight this inarticulation. And teach others how to fight it as well.

So I begin this semester with a renewed since of purpose.

To implore, to entreat, to challenge.

To teach…

To speak with conviction.

Things I Learn from Teaching College - Washing Hands, Changing Diapers... Zombie Invasions

Last week were student speeches again. It's a new semester, so we start back over with the Demonstrative Speeches -- the first of three speeches my students give. 

The purpose of a demonstrative speech is, of course, to demonstrate how to do something -- in other words, to teach an audience something. If you Google "demonstrative speech" the top site is from California State University, Fresno -- a list of 200 possible topics.

Here's the first twenty on that list:
Clean your teeth. 
Coordinate clothes for any occasion.  
Sign for the deaf.
Apply decorative stencils.
Roll clothes to pack a suitcase.
Make stain-glass.
Read nutrition labels.
Defend yourself against an attacker.
Plan a home fire escape.
Stencil tile.
Set-up an e-mail account.
Change oil in your car.
Play the drums.
Change a baby's diaper.
Swing a golf club.
Putt a golf ball.
Pot flowers.
Prune roses.
Make a simple children's game.
Make peanut butter bars.

Most of those are pretty decent.  Of them all, the one I've heard most is "How to change a baby's diaper." In my career, believe it or not, that has been the second most popular speech topic -- I usually hear it 4-5 times a year.

The most popular speech topic is "How to wash your hands." Seriously. I get it 7-8 times a year; definitely have heard it over 50 times in my teaching career.  So if you hear me singing "Happy Birthday" twice while washing my hands - blame my students.

There were no hand washing nor diaper changing speeches last week. (By some odd stroke of luck, I'm only teaching one public speaking class this summer or else I'm sure these old favorites would've made an appearance). But I did have a "How to Prepare for a Zombie Invasion" speech.

This is actually the second zombie-preparedness speech I've had. Both have been pretty good and both of them have been from women in the 20s. For this one she talked about the types of zombies and gave a demonstration about how to protect yourself with a baseball bat from different types. Had a fellow student pretend to be different types of zombie and everything.

And because knowing is half the battle, for all you zombie movie lovers out there:

So next time I am tempted to think my job is not important, I will remember this speech. I will know I have gleaned valuable life skills -- skills that can make a difference -- especially if I have a baseball bat handy. Zombies everywhere beware.

Things I Learn From Teaching College

Another 12 hour day of watching and grading speeches. I'm still trying to keep record of at least one interesting random fact that catches my attention on speech days  -- you know, just  to be a better person.  So here are today's nuggets of wisdom:

1) Teachers who like what they do are the best teachers.  – Hmmmmm.

2) It’s not referred to as legalizing marijuana any more, that's so last 4/20.  It’s now called “decriminalizing” marijuana.  And if marijuana was discovered now -- with none of the stigma attached it -- would be deemed “the miracle drug”. And Taco Bell stock would go through the roof.

3) Don’t Text and Drive is the new Don’t Drink and Drive. (Heard the “don’t text” speech seven times today.) Be warned: texting while driving causes you to take your eyes off the road for an average of 4.6 seconds – so at 60 miles an hour that’s like driving the length of a football field. Blind.  Checking Facebook while driving is totally different, Mom.

4) One of my students just developed this App called OutCrowd and is about to pitch it to venture capitalists. Basically a social networking site that lets you tell particular groups of friends if you want to hang out and where. Go ahead and scoff now, but when we all can’t live without it next year, remember you saw it here first. 

So there you have it. Life as it is in college...

Things I Learn From Teaching College

I teach Public Speaking at a local college. Public Speaking… the course everyone loves to hate.  I started as a part time instructor in 1997, and then took a “full-time” position in 2004.

Over the years, I have seen nearly every imaginable reaction to the thought of giving speeches: from utter confidence to running out of the room crying.  At the beginning of each semester I try to tell to share that bit attributed to Jerry Seinfeld:

Fear of public speaking is ranked higher than the fear of dying. That means if you’re at a funeral you’d rather be the one in the casket than giving the eulogy.

Sometimes that provides perspective. But  sometimes… not so much.  I have seen people throw up, pass out, or turn so red I was sure they were going to have a heart attack. A young man in one of my classes got nervous and ran out of the room during his speech.  I found him a while later wedged in the 8-inch space between the wall and the soda machine at the end of the hall.  I don’t think he was permanently traumatized, but I know I was.

The good news is: almost all these people ended up successfully passing the class.  They may need therapy afterwards, but they passed.

I have found myself recently becoming a wee bit jaded at watching speeches.  Not surprisingly when you consider that I’ve watched over 8000 speeches during the last 10 years.  It becomes monotonous.

But in an effort to become a better listener and instructor I’ve decided to post at least one interesting random fact I learn on speech days.  Not facts about public speaking, just interesting things I learn from the speeches I hear.

So, I present to you, interesting random facts from this semester’s speeches:

Nazca Lines... real??

1. Certain people of European decent will be resistant to HIV because of a genetic mutation that happened when their ancestors survived the Black Plague in the 1300s. Not that I'm going to try to get HIV to find out if I'm one of them...

2. The Nazca Lines exist and are not just something from a sci-fi movie. They were discovered by commercial air flights in the 1930s. Who knew these were actually real ?? And if they are, why isn’t everyone in the world trying to figure out what they really are? 

Bucket List Addition: Four-Corners Monument

3. That I want to add visiting the Four-Corners Monument to my Bucket List. A place where you can be in four different states at one time while playing Twister? Count me in. Right foot - Arizona. Left hand - Colorado...