Midnight Movie Review - A Good Day to Die Hard

John McClane: You got a plan?

Jack McClane: Not really. I kinda thought we would just wing it. You know: running in guns blazing. Make it up as we go...

Evidently that was director John Moore’s plan too for this newest installment of the Die Hard films: Live Free or… no wait, that was the 3^rd one. Or maybe the 4^th.  This one is called Die Hard With a… no, that was the 4^th one. 

Whatever. Die Hard 5. (The one that doesn’t have any Germans, Samuel L. Jackson or the Apple Guy.)

I saw it tonight at the midnight showing, that was actually at 10:00pm -- how can you have a midnight showing at 10:00??  Anyway, I brought along my midnight-movie-viewing buddy Andy. She had never seen any of the Die Hard films. I'm sad that this one was her first because now she'll probably never watch any of the others.

Yeah, this latest Die Hard is pretty terrible. (Not sure if I should’ve offered a spoiler alert for that statement or not). To be a better film, about 35 minutes of the fluff that permeates the movie needed to be cut. Unfortunately it only has a total run time of 1:38, so I guess fluff was the only option.

It’s really kind of a perfect recipe of badness. You’ve got:

1) A setting in Russia

2) A father/son dynamic

3) A Die Hard franchise.

So take EVERY SINGLE cliché you can think of from each of those ingredients and blend it up. I’ll help you:

Russia: confusing characters (wait, which middle-aged bearded guy is that again?), a singing cab driver who LOVES New York, a bad guy who desperately wants to be fashionable, an obnoxious American who gets mad because the person yelling at him in Russian doesn’t speak English, and… Chernobyl

A father/son dynamic:  Moment of clarity for the son: “Wait, my dad is a generally awesome guy? How did I not see that in my 25 years of fighting with him?” (cut to slow motion scene of saving each other’s lives).  “Let’s go kill some scumbags, son.”

 

Die Hard elements: Blow up as much stuff as possible. Have ridiculously long car chase scenes and drive cars off every possible bridge in the entire country. Blow more stuff up. Push bad guy off top of building.

So you mix up all that above goodness and there you have it:  A Good Day to Die Hard.

Bottom line: The son (Jai Courtney) is pretty good, and there are a couple of almost-clever nods to the other films in the franchise (including Bruce’s yippee ki-yay), but overall it’s not worth the time or money. Wait for it to come out on video. The explosions won’t be so big and loud, but you’ve already seen them in Die Hard 1-4 anyway. 

  

Lordy, Lordy Look Who's... Staying 39 For the Next Ten Years

In less than 36 hours I will turn 40.

Remember when you were a kid and 40 was like the oldest number you could think of? The same age as your grandparents and… dirt?

Remember when you were in college and 40 was still like the oldest number you think of? The same age as your parents and… *responsible* people?

Yeah. That 40. Dirt. Responsible.  Old. That will be me the day after tomorrow.

No one will ever be able to say I died young. Sigh. Of course, The Who’s Roger Daltrey was belting out “I hope I die before I get old…” when he was twenty-one, and is still singing it now in his 60s. Evidently did not take his own advice.

I have wonderful friends. Ones who try to console me and tell me that “40 is the new 20!”  But it’s kind of like telling your pal that “orange is the new black!” when she wears a hideous orange sweater to a nightclub: there's nothing that can be done about it, so you might as well offer encouragement.

My husband is probably most astute. A couple of weeks ago he told me not to feel bad about turning 40, after all, I regularly do stupid stuff like I’m still in my 20s. Yeah, that’s pretty true.

My whole life, I never really understood why women embraced the whole “39 and holding” mindset. But I can honestly say I do now:  I DON’T WANT TO BE IN MY FORTIES!!!

Why? Maybe I’m afraid someone’s going to tell me to act my age. Or maybe  40 is STILL the oldest number I can think of.

So I’ve decided I’m going to live this, instead:

“The best years of a woman’s life – the ten years between 39 and 40.” - Unknown

And my ten start now.

 

My 2012 Movie List

Most of January was taken up with talk of running.  It’s time to put an end to that nonsense and get to the important stuff: movies. 

Starting in 2010 I began keeping a list of all the movies I watched for the year. 2010 was out of control – basically I attempted to see as many movies as possible that year. Ended up being 331. Yep, a little less than a movie per day. 

2011 was a little more reasonable: 175. That list is available here.

And now I present the 2012 list, totaling 150.  

1 RV	76 The Prestige^^
2 Friends With Benefits*	77 The Rock
3 Ben Hur^^	78 Pan’s Labyrinth*^^
4 Unforgiven^^	79 Tango & Cash
5 Toy Story^^	80 Monty Python & the Holy Grail^^
6 Yankee Doodle Dandy*^^	81 Serenity
7 The Maltese Falcon^^	82 Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog
8 Breaking Dawn	83 Raiders of the Lost Ark^^
9 Inception	84 Shawshank Redemption^^
10 Unknown	85 Twilight
11 Star Trek (2009)	86 Tootsie*^^
12 Blade Runner: Theatrical Release^^	87 Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe? *^^
13 Gladiator^^	88 Reservoir Dogs^^
14 The Sting*^^	89 Saving Private Ryan*^^
15 Do the Right Thing^^	90 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
16 Journey 2*	91 Treasure of the Sierra Madre*^^
17 Metropolis*^^	92 50/50*
18 The Last Picture Show*^^	93 Total Recall (2012)*
19 Moneyball*	94 African Queen^^
20 Pulp Fiction^^	95 Rock of Ages*
21 Gran Torino^^	96 The Bourne Legacy*
22 The French Connection*^^	97 In Time*
23 Downfall*^^	98 Chinatown^^
24 Up^^	99 the Bourne Identity
25 The Fabulous Baker Boys	100 Network*^^
26 The Apartment*^^	101 New Moon
27 Sophie’s Choice*^^	102 Real Steel
28 Swing Time*^^	103 X-Men: First Class
29 The Bicycle Thief^^	104 Total Recall
30 11:14*	105 L.A. Confidential^^
31 Bringing Up Baby^^	106 Real Steel
32 The Great Dictator*^^	107 Twilight
33 Footloose (2011)	108 New Moon
34 12 Angry Men^^	109 Eclipse
35 Inglourious Basterds*^^	110 The Third Man*^^
36 2001: A Space Odyssey ^^	111 Ice Age: Continental Drift*
37 Double Dare*	112 Haywire*
38 Platoon^^	113 Cabaret^^
39 This Means War*	114 Das Boot*^^
40 Full Metal Jacket*^^	115 Requiem for a Dream*^^
41 Night At the Opera*^^	116 American Graffiti ^^
42 Thor	117 Sullivan’s Travels*^^
43 Easy Rider*^^	118 The Avengers
44 The Avengers*	119 Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind^^
45 The Green Mile*^^	120 Aliens^^
46 Titanic^^	121 What’s Your Number?*
47 Amadeus^^	122 Big Miracle*
48 Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans*^^	123 Mission Impossible: 3
49 We Bought A Zoo*	124 The Three Musketeers*
50 The Avengers IMAX 3D	125 Scooby Doo*
51 All About Eve*^^	126 City Lights*^^
52 Spartacus*^^	127 Twilight
53 I Am Number Four	128 New Moon
54 The Vow*	129 Eclipse
55 Men In Black 3*	130 Breaking Dawn, Part 1
56 Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol	131 Breaking Dawn, Part 2*
57 Last of the Mohicans	132 Magic Mike*
58 Bridge on the River Kwai* ^^	133 Surfwise*
59 Mission: Impossible	134 Hancock
60 Modern Times*^^	135 Breaking Dawn, Part 2
61 Some Like It Hot^^	136 The Departed*^^
62 The Gold Rush*^^	137 Jaws^^
63 Memento^^	138 MASH*^^
64 All the President’s Men*^^	139 Pump Up the Volume
65 Forrest Gump^^	140 To Kill a Mockingbird*^^
66 In the Heat of the Night*^^	141 North By Northwest^^
67 Cinema Paradiso*^^	142 The Deer Hunter*^^
68 Ragining Bull*^^	143 The Pianist*^^
69 X-Men	144 Les Miserables *
70 Silence of the Lambs^^	145 West Side Story^^
71 Hunger Games*	146 Paths of Glory*^^
72 Journey 2	147 West Side Story
73 Back to the Future^^	148 The Amazing Spider-man*
74 Mission: Impossible 2	149 Iron Man
75 X-Men 2	150 The Dark Knight Rises*

Cinema Paradiso - My pic for fave

Films marked with an *denotes that it was my first time seeing it.  A ^^ denotes it was part of my Sunday Showdown (AFI vs. IMDb) challenge.  Having the Sunday Showdown hanging over me each week definitely has caused me to see quite a few films I normally wouldn’t in the course of the year. Kubrick aside, that was mostly a good thing.

I highlighted the films I particularly found enjoyable and would suggest to others. Five of the six of them are from the Sunday Showdown challenge; 2/3 are from before 1970.  Cinema Paradiso (1988) was my absolute favorite. 

I’m  keeping a list again for 2013(currently at 14), a few of my movie-geek friends are too. We’ll see what exciting cinematic experiences that leads to.