Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Full-On Stupid

A friend of mine posted this link recently:

My first thought:  Where can I sign up?
Why? Because it’s in Africa. Because it’s a challenge. Because it’s a desert. Because it’s beyond what I’m capable of at the present.
Because it’s stupid.
The event itself is not stupid. On the contrary, it’s an awesome event and Runwell is a fabulous charity.
It’s me, a nearly forty-year-old mother of four, who has never run more than 26.2 miles and doesn’t like the heat, wanting to sign up for a 7-day run half way around the world in the middle of a desert that’s stupid. But if there was any possible way I could do it, I would. And I would hurl myself into the training and planning.
That’s the way of what my husband has somewhat-affectionately termed THE FULL-ON STUPID. And it’s pretty much how I do a lot of things.
There are usually three facets to full-on stupidity: 
1) An event or goal that is somewhat ridiculous,  
2) A plan to achieve said event/goal that is also somewhat ridiculous,  and
3) Some sort of physical, mental and/or emotional pain in the planning, training or event itself.
So, the formula is:
(ridiculous event/goal) x (ridiculous plan to achieve event/goal) x (pain)  =  THE FULL-ON STUPID
But I’m certainly guilty of full-on stupidity quite often.   Things my husband has heard me say in the last six months:

Tough Mudder: 10,000 volt  
wires = definitely stupid

Honey, I’ve decided to do this race called the Tough Mudder that involves running through fire, climbing over 12-foot walls, swimming through ice pits, and sprinting through electrical wires. All I have to do is sign this death-waiver = FULL-ON STUPID
Honey, I’ve decided to give up all caffeine. No, I won’t be slowly reducing my caffeine intake so I don’t turn into a complete psycho.  I’m just going to give up all ten cups of coffee a day cold turkey… = FULL-ON STUPID
Honey, I’ve decided to participate in the National Novel Writing Month where you write an ENTIRE novel in one month.  So I’m planning on staying up all night at least a couple times a week all through the month of November…  = FULL-ON STUPID
If I asked my husband to add to the list, he could probably come up with half a dozen more examples immediately.  Of course, he’s also a saint because he realizes how stupid I am and yet still remains married to me.
Why the full-on stupid? Ultimately because: I know I respond best to hard deadlines. I know I’m a strong starter, and that my initial momentum will take me further than most people’s, but after that momentum is gone, whatever hasn’t been accomplished probably isn’t going to. I know I have a low tolerance for boredom and a high ability to multi-task.  And I know have little, if any, talent at pacing myself.
Maybe you're a full-on stupider too. Could we use more moderation and intelligence when planning how to achieve our goals? Well, yeah, if someone wants to put it that way. I guess we are capable of making rational goals and choices. And most of the time we do.
But sometimes tacking things full-on stupid is the only way for me to go. If I didn't, then I’d just be Jane without the Calamity. Where’s the adventure in that?


  1. Ahahaha! Great post! Many an adventure has started with the sentence "All I have to do is sign this death-waiver..." XD

  2. There's a saying, something like: If you aim for the moon and you miss, you'll still land among the stars.
    I say, if it takes a Full-on Stupid to get you started, GO FOR IT!!!