A Stranger in a Deutschland - The Plight of the Garbage Disposal

I realize an official update has been a long time in coming... that is because of some SUPER- AWESOME good news in my writing career that I will be announcing soon. (Just suffice to say I've had other places to be spending my writing hours).

But hey, we're still in Germany!!

We have now officially been here two full months. Let's just cut to the chase: I miss ChickFilA and Target and all my friends and family (probably in that order, sorry Mom).

But what I miss most of all?
My garbage disposal

Seriously, there are no garbage disposals here. You would be amazed at how that has changed my whole life, especially since I'm dealing with a family a six and the trash pick up is once every two weeks.

I won't go into too much detail, but it has changed what I cook, how I cook it, the portion sizes I serve and a number of other things.

I don't know exactly how garbage disposals work, but I'm pretty sure there is magic and fairies involved because in the United States you put your unused food items in your sink you run some water, turn on a light switch and Voila! the food disappears. Dispose-All

Yeah, that doesn't happen here. 

Now if my kids don't quite finish everything on their plates then it has to be raked into the garbage can. Which is fine until the next day when the little pieces of food from last night start to smell. Which is fine because we can take it outside.  EXCEPT outside we get one small Oscar-the-Grouch size trash can to hold everything for two weeks. That's usually full by day 3.

So... lots of Lysol. And smaller serving sizes so everyone finishes everything on our plates.

But honestly, despite the what's-that-smell factor in our house, things have really taken a turn for the better. 

The Broken Foot

Kids really seem to be adjusting, fitting in. Nobody is crawling into my bed crying. Nobody is asking if we can move back "home". Everyone has made friends; sports and activities have started, things seem to be working their way back to normal.

We have had some problems... Captain Awesome tripped on some stairs (at an indoor amusement park) and broke his foot. True story. They thought he would need surgery but fortunately didn't. He's been wearing a boot for a month, but should hopefully be out of that soon.

I almost flooded our entire apartment because I forgot to dump the water reservoir of the clothes dryer.  Evidently the same fairies who don't magically take the food away when we put it down the sink don't take the water away from the dryer and it has to be emptied manually after every couple of laundry loads.

PS -- I knew this, but forgot. Hand me the mop, I won't forget again.

Oh yeah, and there was the time I gave my kids wine coolers thinking it was lemonade, since evidently alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks are just randomly interspersed on the German grocery shelves. Probably would've been a better day for everyone if I'd have just let them drink it. 

But despite all any of this, the good has by far out-weighed the bad. 

For example, went to Paris for a three-day weekend:

Hey, Kiddo #4 kind of looks like Mona Lisa

Notre Dame and Venus de Milo at the Louvre

In case anyone wonders: Kid #3 has worn shorts EVERYDAY since we've been here, no matter what weather

It was a great trip full of laughter, EuroDisney and lots of eating. My boys even wore "European swimming trunks" in order to be able to use the indoor water park at our hotel. But they wouldn't let me take pictures. :)  They went ice-skating on the Eiffel Tower.

These are things I know they will remember for the rest of their lives. It was a wonderful trip, exactly what our family needed.

We bought a second car to use while we're here! 

Um yeah, that is not it, much to Capt Awesome's dismay.

We bought a Mazda 3 hatchback.  But more than just getting a car, it was an important moment for us because we managed to buy it from a German man who spoke about as much English as we did German. There was a lot of Google Translate use going on. It was a big stretch out of our comfort zone, but because the Euro is struggling so much (thanks, Greece!) we were able to get a much better deal than if we tried to buy from an American and pay dollars for a vehicle.

So far the car has been wonderful. And super-great on gas.

In February, Capt Awesome and I won free concert tickets for my birthday and met Lionel Richie! 

Yeah, we partied All Night Long.

But most importantly, we FOUND A PERMANENT HOUSE! 

It was a matter of being at the right place at the right time (or, God looking out for us). This house was listed as available right when I happened to be looking at the housing site and I scheduled us the first appointment. Within a couple of hours there were twenty people on the waiting list for it.

It has five bedrooms, two bonus rooms (one is GIANT that the boys have decided to share) and, wait for it... 3 full bathrooms.

By the time we got to the third bathroom when we were touring it, I was in tears I was so happy. It was far and beyond, bigger and better and more open than anything we'd seen. Plus, it's near the base (so there are a ton of kids around), little shops and cafes, and the train.

Most importantly, it's in the town of Boeblingen... pronounced Boob-lingen, so my boys think that is hi-larious. We move in on March 23.

So all-in-all, we're settling in well. I definitely post more updates on Facebook, so hang with me there if you're looking for more up-to-date stuff (friend me here or like my author page here). But I'll be sure to update here when we're in the new house and after our trip to Amsterdam in April to see the tulips. :) #adventuresinGermany

2014 Family Fun Trip Part 1 - Livin' La RVida Loca

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do. If you’ve known me for more than ten minutes, then that’s probably already apparent. I don't tend to stay in one place too long.

I’ve been blessed to travel all over the world: Australia, Bahamas, Canada, China, Curacao, England, France, Germany Israel, Jamaica, Mexico, and Scotland.  And I’ve been to roughly two-thirds of our great fifty states, including Alaska, Hawaii and all of the West Coast (it’s that blasted Northeast that’s killing my percentages).

About a month ago, since we were already had plans for the six of us (Captain Awesome, Me and Tax Breaks 1-4) to attend a family/friend reunion of sorts in New Mexico, we decided to make a two week family adventure out of it. My parents joined us for some of the merriment. We went to a total of six states.

And part of that time would be in an RV.

Before we go any further, you should probably know that this is kind of what my entire family had in our minds when we were thinking RV. The movie RV with Robin Williams:

Yeah, some of that wasn't  too far off.

I got a SUPER deal by watching this site daily (like, stalking it, really): 

http://www.cruiseamerica.com/rent/hot_deals/#  We were able to get a one-way RV that was coming out of Phoenix and returning to Las Vegas seven days later for $15 a night, plus gas. That was an INCREDIBLE deal. It fit almost perfectly into our itinerary.  Here's what the RV looked like from the online brochure:

So nice and cozy...

But this was more the reality of it:

(I had the camera out just in case this turned into an RV-movie moment)

The RV ended up being everyone's favorite part of the trip. We were all on top of each other, yeah, but it was an ADVENTURE. And since we traveled nearly 1800 miles in seven days, I'm glad we had it. (My 14-yo Tax Break has commented multiple times since we've been home that she "misses the RV". Does my heart good).

We didn't try to cook any dinners in our RV, but we did use it for breakfast and lunch. And snacks. With four kids, you have a lot of snacks. But $50 at Walmart bought much more than stopping at gas stations.

Things we did right with the RV:

• Did a mega trip to Walmart the day we got the RV. Stocked it with breakfast and lunch stuff,  fruits and veggies, and sodas & snacks. Also bought a small pot (for boiling water for coffee and soup). 
• Used almost all paper products so we wouldn't have dishes to wash
• Figured out you can take a piece of duct tape (that my 10 year old had brought for some reason) and put it on the bottom of a plastic cup. Instant cup holder. Which you need, because everything slides around everywhere.
• Used individual blankets and sheets that could then be folded up and put out of the way during the day (no need to worry about dirty feet climbing all over sleeping spaces during the long days)
• Brought a power strip. There were an excessive amount of things needing to be charged.
• Didn't use the shower in the RV. The RV parks we stayed at had bigger showers, so we just made that a rule. Plus my parents stayed in a hotel room, so Tax Break #1 was able to shower there every night, reducing trauma

Things I wish I knew:

• There is no need to buy paper products as if it's the end of the world. Your family of six is not going to go through 200 plates and four rolls of toilet paper in one week. 
• But your family will, in fact, go through one pack of double-stuffed Oreos A DAY. Plan accordingly.
• Everything will fall out of the refrigerator every time you open it. Don't yell at the kids when that happens because IT WILL happen to you the very next time.
• Bring a (or two if you have them) car adapter that gives you an actual plug. We had a car adapter that would allow to charge our phones, but nothing that would allow the kids to plug in their portable DVD player. That meant we had to run the generator (which cost $3/hour) if we wanted to use the regular plugs while driving.

But overall, we had very few complaints. It was a trip of a lifetime and we loved it. The RV was a big part of that.

Next time: Family Fun Trip Part 2 - The Itinerary Nazi

Family : Circling the Wagons

I have four kids. That gives me a lot of free passes for stuff:

“You can’t make a cake for the PTA bake sale? Honey, totally don’t worry about it. I don’t know how you manage getting anything done with four kids…”

“You’re late? That’s alright. I’m sure just getting out the door with four kids is a feat in and of itself…”

“You’re going to go run some race half way across the country? I don’t blame you. Sometimes a mama just needs to get away from her four kids.”

So yeah, a lot of times the four kids thing works in my favor. 

But it also means, with six people living in my house – 3 girls, 3 boys – that statistically, somebody’s eventually gonna go crazy. Especially as my four kids are inching up on teenagerism.

The statistics were right: one of my middle school aged kids, done lost her mind this past November and December. It was pretty vicious – the choices she was making, the way she was thinking about herself & others – and I was left wondering how I didn’t see it coming. At all.

But let me make one thing clear: it is an absolutely brutal time to be a teenage girl in our society. 

Issues of health, self-esteem, beauty, attraction, belonging and self-worth have always plagued young girls. But now it plagues them with a running commentary from everyone they know (and some they don’t) when these girls put their feelings out into cyberspace for all to see. 

I’m not saying anything new here, that hasn’t been already been said much better by other people. And believe it or not, it’s not even my point.

My point is what happened after my daughter had the mind-losing experience.

This happened:

Okay not just that. 
 .

When my parents found out about the struggles my daughter was going through, they dropped everything at their home in Georgia, and came and stayed with us for six-weeks.  
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They didn’t come up here to tell my husband and I what we were doing wrong as parents (although I’m sure the list was long) or to be voices of criticism to our daughter.   
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Instead, they came up and cooked meals and did chores so I could spend much needed one-on-one time with my daughter and not have to worry about what the rest of the family would eat or if the laundry would ever get done.  
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They played games and watched movies with my other three kids so they wouldn’t feel left out, as mom and dad had to spend more time with their sibling. 
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They went and ate lunch with my kids at their school sometimes 2-3 times a week. Bringing – much to the kids’ delight – fast food or sub sandwiches for them to eat, rather than the cafeteria food.  
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They sat with my troubled daughter some evenings and told funny stories of the mischief my brother and I got into as kids.  And helped us pry my daughter’s smart phone out of her hands so she could learn to reset and live without it.
.

But most of all, they came in and spoke life and encouragement to me and my husband and our kids and our house. They hugged and prayed and smiled and loved. Day in and day out, over and over, for six weeks. 

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My parents left today – having done, I think, what they set out to do: help me and my family get back on course. And I already see a positive change in my daughter that I want to continue to foster. 
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Most importantly, my parents proved to my daughter, without ever having to say the words, that nothing was more important to them than her.  That when family needs your help, you stop what you’re doing and give the help that’s needed.  
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Circling the wagons. To protect what’s precious within.

Whose Comfort Zone is This Anyway?

It's one of my favorite quotes.  I found it on a coffee mug in NYC a few years ago.  I’ve put it on my Facebook page, it’s part of my Twitter tag, it’s been on my blog.  I get comments about it all the time.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." 

Mostly I use that quote when justifying something stupid I want to do like run a half-marathon in Antarctica, or go cave diving in Mexico, or zip-lining  in some rainforest.

Practicing our panicked looks last spring.

But today I watched my 10-year-old son get ready to go to his first sleep-away camp. He’ll be gone from home for five days.  As I took him into the meeting space to check in with his counselor and the rest of his teammates, he had a distinctly panicked look in his eyes.

He was definitely well out of his comfort zone.  And some bumper-sticker/coffee-mug wisdom about life being better because of that was not going to help him.

I had to fight every urge not ask him if he wanted to forget the whole thing and just go home.  I wanted to wipe that panicked look from his eyes.  I wanted to hug him and love him and protect him…

But then I took a deep breath and thought: what exactly was I trying to protect him from? Growth? Meeting new people? Having fun?

Leaving his comfort zone?

So I watched him board the bus, waved to him one last time and left him to go have his adventure. I’ll look forward to hearing all about it when he gets back on Friday.

 I guess today life begins for both of us at the end of his comfort zone.

Call Me Crazy... I Mean... Maybe

Last week I went on my annual girls trip with the women in my family. I've talked about (here) how much I love being with those ladies. Some people think traveling with your grandmother, aunts, and cousins may not be the height of fun & entertainment. But that's just because they've never met my family. This video my cousin made completely reaffirms that.

Am I a crazy enough person to run all around a city singing some teeny-bopper song to complete strangers? Do you even have to ask? But having family members right there with me singing? That just makes me blessed.


Call Me Maybe - 2012 Girls Trip from Hannah Webb on Vimeo.

THE GIRLS' TRIP

It was Summer 2003. I was a semi-young mother – 30 years old – with two small children and was away from them for the first time.  Not just away, but across the entire country in Palm Springs, CA, away.  

My sweet cousin was getting married later that year so the women in my family – my grandmother, two aunts, two cousins and I – decided to have a weekend together to celebrate her upcoming nuptials.  We shopped, we ate leisurely meals, we laughed and talked with no kids or husbands around to demand our attention.

Palm Springs 2010

I remember very clearly coming out of a shop and calling my husband to see how things were going at home.  I could hear him trying to heat up one of the meals I had left them while our 3 year old daughter was chatting non-stop and our 1 year old son was screaming his head off.

After hubby and I’s very brief conversation I was quite upset, worried my little family was suffering without me there. I was nearly in tears when I walked up to my lovely aunt – a preacher’s wife and former elementary school principal – and told her about the home front situation.  I’m not sure exactly how I expected her to respond, a hug, maybe, or an offer to pray. What my conservative aunt actually said caught me totally off guard.

“Honey, let’s go let me buy you a drink.”

She did and we laughed and told stories about kids and husbands and homes and how it’s good for them all to sometimes fend for themselves. Make ‘em appreciate us wives/mothers more when we get back.

Vegas 2008

We thought that trip in 2003 would be a one-time thing, but we all liked it so much, enjoyed each other’s company so much, we made The Girls Trip into a near yearly tradition. We’ve been all over: Palm Springs (twice), Vegas (twice), Santa Fe, Portland, and even a cruise to the Bahamas. Tomorrow we’re off to Charleston, SC for the 2012 Girls’ Trip.

Our group has grown through the years - we’ve added more cousins as they’ve become older. This year we add a new member again: my brother’s new bride.

2011

I love the Girls’ Trips. I love all the different places we go. I love that we sometimes skip the main entrees in our meals and go straight from appetizers to dessert.  I love actually putting on make-up and jewelry and high-heel shoes for our outings.

But most of all, I am so thrilled that I have gotten to know these ladies – who I am blessed to call family – as women. I have gotten to laugh and cry and raise a toast to each of them – including my grandmother, who is as big a cut-up on these trips as any of us.  These women always be my family, but now I know they will also always be my friends.

Getting Out of the Desperation Dinners Rut

I don’t really like to eat. Seriously, if I could take a pill every day that gave me the appropriate caloric and vitamin intake I would happily never eat again. Or maybe only once in a while when I wanted a good cheeseburger.

Unfortunately, I have four kids and a husband who do not feel the same way about food as I do. They want to eat. Three meals a day, 365 days a year. So inconsiderate of them, isn’t it? How I feel about that?:

Feeding a family of six is not easy. I have one kid who loves spicy food, but one whose palate really can’t handle it. I have one child who just wants healthy foods, another who just wants gravies, sauces and starches. I also have one who is smart enough to slip what she doesn’t like to the dog. And considering the dog is pushing 100 pounds, maybe I should keep a closer eye on that.

I don’t prepare separate foods for the kids – they eat what we’re having or they don’t eat.  I did allow the kids to pick one food that they don’t ever have to eat. Their choices:

Kid #1 – Mashed potatoes

Kid #2 – Stuffing

Kid #3 – Squash

Kid #4 – Peppers

Although I pretty much think their choices are crazy, I work around these “least favorite foods” and everybody stays relatively happy. Except the child who wants to put Ranch dressing on everything, from pizza to vegetables to casseroles. Sigh.

I do cook because going out to eat regularly with a family of six, three of them with significant appetites, gets expensive quick.  I’ve never really understood why people ask if someone can cook? Anyone who can read can cook. Maybe not the most delicious, complex meals on the planet, but they can brown some ground beef and make some tacos or boil water and make spaghetti.

So can I cook? Yes. But am I very creative with it? Not always. Not even usually. Let’s put it this way, my two main cookbooks for the last ten years have been: Help! My Apartment has a Kitchen! and Desperation Dinners. 

In an attempt to get out of the cooking rut I’ve been in since..., well, forever, the last few months I have resolved to try one new recipe per week.  That has gone well some weeks (who knew you could cook babyback ribs in the crock pot and they would turn out AWESOME????). But there were other times not so great, like when I almost burnt the house down cooking curry.  

Other new recipes have included chicken and dumplings, broiled tilapia parmesan, homemade bbq chicken pizza, garlic cheddar chicken, potstickers, black bean enchiladas, Philly cheese & beef casserole and Mexican street corn. Some have been more popular or successful than others, but no matter what, we have tried them together as a family. And then sometimes tossed them and made PB&Js – but again, together as a family.

Tonight’s new recipe? Fish tacos. We’ll see how that goes – kids are not thrilled. But at least it’s new and different. And will hopefully delay my search for the food pill a little while longer.  

Game Over, Man, Game Over! - And Other Marriage Advice

My baby-brother is getting married this weekend! Evidently in Georgia they allow 14-year-olds to get married.  What's that you say? My brother is 36? When the heck did that happen?

Oh, I guess about the time I turned 39...  Eeck.

We all had our doubts about whether QJ would ever take the plunge. Our confirmed bachelor, he is. Er... was. But then he found a gal who stole his heart and a mere five years later... poof: a wedding. (We tried to tell them to take it slowly, but young love... what can you do?)

My brother said an unmarried friend of his future father-in-law explained marriage like this:

All the unmarried guys are sitting on their tropical islands, sipping their umbrella drinks, having lots of fun, and looking out at the ocean...

Where all the married men are on a sinking ship, just trying not to drown. And the married men call to the single men and say, "Come join us! This is a great cruise!"

And the single men... well, the smart single men... just shake their heads and go back to their umbrella drinks.

But not my brother. He has put down his drink, and is swimming out to that sinking ship... er, wonderful institution, that is called marriage.

So, in light of the upcoming nuptials on Saturday, I thought I would post a few items to provide my brother with some advice regarding marriage.

That they totally crack me up is just a bonus. 

Best wishes, baby brother. May your marriage be full of blessings and laughter. May love and kindness always guide your actions. May you always love each other more tomorrow than you do today.

Game over, man. Game over.

Makes Me Laugh - Dog Edition

Our dog and my husband are in an epic battle of wills concerning backyard gate escape (current score: Junie B. Dog - 3, Hubby - 0). My husband has re-configured the fence gate to the point where the kids can't figure out how to open and close it, yet the dog still gets out.

By the way, here was the dog when my kids                 And here she is nine-months and
 talked me into getting her:                                              85 POUNDS later:

So in light of man's best friend being smarter than my entire family, I thought I'd post a few funny dog pics I've seen this week. 

If our dog could talk...

 

Should say, "0 days since I got thru the gate"

That's Not a Hair-Do, That's a Hair-Don't

"That's not a hair-do, lady, that's a hair don't..."

Buford the Buzzard, an obnoxious puppet character at Six Flags Amusement Park, said that to my grandmother one time in the mid-90s, during one of our many family trips there.  The entire family nearly fell on the ground laughing, as did the rest of the audience.

Buford wasn't necessarily wrong...

Nobody laughed harder than my Mamaw.

In the decade and a half since then, I don't know that I've ever visited her house when someone didn't crack that joke. Usually her.

We buried my Mamaw yesterday. I didn't get asked to speak at her funeral, probably because my family knew I would make that joke.  That's okay. Although I know my Mamaw wouldn't have minded if I did.

When Mamaw was diagnosed with end-stage cancer a few weeks ago we knew she didn't have long to live. Because of her faith, she was not sad nor scared at the thought of dying,  right to the very end.

I live out of state, but got to visit her one last time at the end of February. We had a wonderful time of sharing and laughing -- my family sitting around her on the couch telling all the old stories once again. Even about ol' Buford the Buzzard.

Sitting there, I looked around Mamaw's house wondering if there was any item of hers I could ask her for to keep as my special memento of her.  But even after searching through the whole house I couldn't find anything that gave me that special "Mamaw" feeling I was searching for. (Although I did attempt to make the case that her diamond bracelet would probably come close...)

I left her house with no memento and was quite sad. But on the flight home I realized I was given the object to remind me of her over 39 years ago: her name. She was Betty Jane, I am Mittie Jane.

 I am Janie because of her. In more ways than just the name.

My grandmother was loud and opinionated. She laughed a lot and often made inappropriate comments.  She was always on the go. Stop me if you know where I'm going with this.

 If I am "Calmity Jane" now, not only did the Jane come from her -- so did a lot of the calamity.

I got nearly 40 years with my Mamaw.  Everything about me was influenced by her in some way, even though we didn't always see eye to eye.  I had her as I grew into a woman, got married, and had my own children. My youngest cousin is not even 10-years-old; she will never know Mamaw the way I was blessed to.

A lifetime of memories. A personality that reflects hers in so many ways. Her name.

No other memento needed.

"So much of me is made of what I learned from you.

I know you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart....

I do believe I have been changed for the better.

And because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

("For Good" from the Broadway musical Wicked)

We Start and End With Family

My grandfather is the youngest of four brothers. Earlier this week, his oldest brother, my great-uncle, passed away. He was the first one of the four to go, and in many ways, it is the end of an era.

The four brothers

I used to think that someone should make a movie about them. But then I realized by Hollywood's standards their lives wouldn't make a good story.  But for me, theirs would be one of the greatest.

They are all wonderful, Godly men. Each married to one wife for over fifty years - over 200 years of marriage between them. Uncle Wendell, who just passed, served in World War II. All of them have an robust work ethic. All of them have gone through trials, but have come through them, not necessarily more successful, but better and stronger on the other side. I am thankful for the example each of them have set for my extended family over the years.  They each not only give good advice, but live good advice. Oh, that I would the same.

Au revoir, Uncle Wendell - until we meet again.

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.  ~Anthony Brandt